Eliminate the Drama by Listening
By Mary Storholm
If you work in a professional setting, this situation may sound all too familiar: Two passionate colleagues discuss a workplace challenge, talk past one another, and each leaves the conversation frustrated by the other’s unwillingness to come around. How can these colleagues, in the heat of conflict, practice active listening and reach alignment?
In professional settings such as hospitals, researchers attribute an estimated 70% of workplace mistakes to communication problems between colleagues.[1] A talented few are natural communicators, gifted in the skill of clearly and effectively conveying their opinions to others. However, many people struggle to articulate their thoughts effectively, leading to workplace inefficiency and conflict. In the case of medicine, a miscommunication can literally mean life or death.
One effective method to improve communication in the workplace is the HeartMath Institute’s Coherent Communication™ technique.[2] This approach identifies three steps to become a more coherent, understanding, and present colleague during stressful workplace situations. A summary of these steps are as follows:
Coherent Communication™ Technique
Step 1: Take Deep Breaths to Calm Your Heart Rate
As you feel a situation escalating, focus your attention on your heart and imagine your breath flowing in and out. Breathe a little slower and deeper than usual. Be sure your breathing is smooth, unforced, and comfortable. Embrace a positive feeling such as an appreciation, care, or compassion for your colleague. This activity will help control your heart rate and have a calming effect on the body. This exercise will likely prevent the stress hormone cortisol from releasing into your body and therefore will help you avoid an emotional and unproductive response.
Step 2: Listen to Understand
Without judgment, listen for the key points the speaker is making. Avoid internalizing the “drama” or tangential, emotional points in the conversation. Listen to hear and understand your colleague’s perspective, not to form your response. Assume your colleague is coming from a place of positive intent and remain open to discover new information and embrace new ideas.
Step 3: Confirm Mutual Understanding
After calmly listening to your colleague, confirm with the speaker what you heard to ensure mutual understanding. First paraphrase the key points you heard using a genuine and even tone. Give your colleague an opportunity to validate, clarify, and/or elaborate on the points. This approach demonstrates you hear and understand the speaker’s perspective and are open to a productive discussion.
Rockwood consultants leverage this technique in a variety of situations. Try it in your next engagement and let us know what you learned at info@rockwoodcompany.com.